Very, very few clients, friends or neighbours have ever seen the photos in this blog. Not surprising actually. I haven't seen them for 20 years either! As I shortly become a global citizen with a permanent home in the tropical paradise of Sri Lanka, I have had to cull my life to its skeletal remains.

Connection vs. disconnection

The Q on Brunswick Team circa 1997.

Business records, financial and employment histories. Lives, loves; lost and found, remembered and long forgotten. As I reviewed family and friends, memories ignited emotions. Feelings of sorrow, joy, laughter, regret, joy. Sorrow over lives cutoff before attaining their potential. Joy seeing friends and families from a bygone era. Laughter at parties, special events and unexpected moment. Ah the memories! Each photo tells a business or a personal success story. Pushing the boundaries of all that may be considered normal. Of fashion faux pas that will challenge your visual concepts of decency, for those who recognise themselves; a moment to reflect, a smile of joy.

The Terror of Disconnection

Working with business owners and executives for more then a decade of mentoring, mindset development and sales training provides a foundation of the necessity of connection. Let's look at this in three key areas.
  1. Connection and bonds required to develop strong leadership and help businesses grow a vision based brand. When we look at a business as an entity a legal, physical, individual being with its own vision, goals and destiny; we quickly see how vital connection is to drive the business to efficiently deliver its goods or services. Where a disconnect between vision, owners, leaders and the delivery team, the business entity is headed for failure. Statistics support the importance of leadership, vision and an 'on board' team as a key factor in business profitability. Businesses and owners who lose their way in day to day busy-ness quickly suffer the consequences. It is net very long before a leading brand disappears, it's customers voting with their hip pockets.
  2. It is possible to get connection terribly, terribly wrong. Successful products or services stay in our memory. This is not just because of good marketing. Its because we have bought, seen or know someone who has one or talked about it ourselves in our social groups. A good product connects. A bad one doesn't. It is that simple. if I build it, they will buy... said the manufacturer of the 'Segue' So you've never heard of it? Investors who lost their money wish that was their position! Consumers simply didn't connect with the inventor's vision. There was and still is, a total disconnect, despite dozens of marketing campaigns.
  3. Owners or executive disconnection destroys not just a business, but people. Whether this is based on a lack of clear vision, personality, or a personal emotional, health, relationship or financial crisis, it destroys companies, people, networks and relationships. The disconnection that occurs among people, merely reflects what is actually going on.
Why does this occur? We would like to blame our computer systems, the economic outlook, changing market conditions, buying habits or our competitors. Have you ever identified one of these as the root cause, only to find yourself or your business in the same position 12 months later? If that has ever happened to you, whatever you "fixed" was not the problem causing the disconnect. The cause was not in your hand; those things you do. The issue was not in your heart; able to be solved by emotional habit change. You were simply a victim of the oldest computer hack in the history of mankind.


The oldest section of the human brain is lovingly known as the "Lizard" brain. Estimated to predate our ability to walk up right at some 500 million years, it has two primary functions.
  1. To steer you away from pain.
  2. To coax, attract or draw you towards pleasure.
Steering away from pain is a key factor in the survival of the species. Pain is an indication to flee. It is is a precursor to those things that harm us, eventually to the point of death. Being close to a fire is a pleasant warming and comforting feeling. Touching something that burns the skin causes an immediate withdrawal reaction over which you have no control. Injury prevents a being ultimately from reproducing. The species dies out. Pleasure are things that support life, connection and enjoyment. If we quickly draw a single line towards pleasure, all our activities are for the support and welfare of the tribe and our reproduction to ensure our species continues to exist. The underlying fear, that of abandonment, epitomises the difficulty changing locations or networks causes in our psyche. Not to enter into a situation where this may occur is our brain's preservation mechanisms in full swim. Doing everything in its power to ensure the physical move or the pain dislocation does not occur. Ever pointing us towards the safety an pleasure of our current lives and social settings.

The Emotional Tearing of Disconnection

I'm an old hand at this. Moving cities and networks should not be an issue. After all, every decade  since turning 20, I have rehearsed this. What's more its in my genes. My parents had a crack at travelling 1/2 way around the world in 1960 to arrive in a lucky country where they didn't speak the language and raised 6 children in an isolate Victorian country town. Why? Post WWII starvation in Europe. My first memory  of the feeling of abandonment was at age 10. There was no smile on the face of the grade 4 boy as he left home for the first time. Simply a look of utter despair. At 18 I was at it again, leaving the country forever, drawn to the excitement of an urban life I did not comprehend. A decade after working on the outskirts, my life and relationships fell apart once more. When nothing remained, I commenced a new path into higher education. I was 30 before ever settling into a relationship that mattered; 5 careers past, 2 businesses built, one sold and another about to be started. In the very heart of Melbourne's funky strip my partner and I built a million dollar business in 13 months, and a property portfolio with an asset base more than 3 times that. Somewhere in my thirties I went out socially for the first time; still a green country kid who had no idea when he was being lied to or why. On a shoestring budget, we travelled, partied and added more assets and business interests. Never did I think that my day job would provide the opportunity to build the largest Gymnastics teaching business in the country and see me transferred interstate as my relationships failed. My arrival in Sydney can only be described a pathetic. A friend from university days sat beside me on the steps of a club; I found out he didn't drink either, and was wondering why he was even there. Driven to succeed, once more I worked 18 hour days, hiding from the pain and loneliness. Meeting my current partner changed that with stability and reality. It was never plain sailing. Renovating together is still the quickest way to kill a perfectly good relationship! But the balance of holidays regularly and time out together changed me. Yes it was slow. 15 years to begin to attach value to my learnings and journey. 5 years of giving away my best empowerment tools. 2 years of powerful engagement to help others grow and seeing the outcomes in their lives, businesses, bank accounts and vision.


Settled. Time to relax and rest. Not so. Time to launch into an adventure bolder and riskier than any other.

Renovation #7 tearing down before there an be any rejuvenation or restoration

Migration to a 3rd world country to work from within a community to make a lasting mark. The fears and frustrations, learnings and systems learned over 30 years provide the vision and the clarity. What has taken 50 years to create, will be replicated in 3. People who engage and are prepared to take the risk will be on a fast track, a bullet train of shifting mindset, connected to a vision older than mankind itself. But first there is a tearing away, uprooting and leaving of the known and comfortable. There is no easy way to trick your brain into believing something that is simply unnerving. There is the knowledge that we leave the Lucky Country and the Lucky People; not to build a fortune but set out a clear legacy. A legacy that creates the space, the skills, the physical activities, the organic diet and the spiritual connection that allows those who have the ability to physically connect will feel from the first arrival breath, the rejuvenation of their spirit. Coaches, teachers, Yogis and those with shared interests seeking a focussed, rejuvenating group retreat should connect with the team at 9 Provinces: or  All the faces will change, but the joy of serving those who are weary, need realignment and those leaders seeking a new clarity of vision will find a place to recalibrate energetically, and expand their vision.

Wally Salinger is a Mindset Coach who initiates lasting change through unlocking client's potential.

His connection with 9 Provinces provides retreat guests with systems, strategies and mindset change through neural grafting, timelining and and mindfulness training. Clients gain clarity around the vision of success and happiness, experiencing reduced stress and expanded horizons. His clients range from executives and managers to athletes and business owners.